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looking for a partner in crime - already mapped out in her head everything she wants. You're probably just some random meat whose only function is to dissuade potential rapists.

not into drama - loves to initiate drama.

so bored - just wants to talk to somebody to kill time.

love sucks - having a really hard time in the love department.

great sense of humour - thinks 'The Office' is cutting edge comedy.

very sarcastic - probably getting 'sarcastic' confused with 'annoying'.

I'm not racist, but - a racist (but at least we have something in common).

Yeah I'm [whatever]! If you can't handle that, then contact someone else! - If she has this sort of attitude problem now, before meeting her, can you imagine what she's like on a date?

down to earth - boring.

just come out of a bad relationship - desperate and seeking attention.

pic for pic - everything is a negotiation.

no photo/no reply - is shallow.

not into playing games - doesn't play games in the beginning but she will its just a matter of time.

looking for my soulmate for long-term relationship - wants you to complete her.

all men are cheaters/pigs/liars - attracts cheaters, pigs and liars.

300 pounds now, but working on losing it - not losing it fast enough.

love to laugh - you better have a sense of humor or some way of making her laugh.

put [whatever] in your subject line - she just wants to see if you actually read her message first.

new to the area - was driven from her previous location by irate locals with pitchforks.

[any acronym you don't recognise] - has been scouring the internet for potential mates for WAY too long.

must be sane, no flakes - has a tendency to attract crazy people or she's flaked on alot.

fun-loving - boring.

fun - unimaginative.

kayaking - trying to sound more interesting than they actually are.

open-minded + must be [anything] - idiot.

[any star sign talk] - likes reading horoscopes.

kinda shy at first, but once you get to know me I'm a good friend - slow to warm up.

I'm [age], but always told I look MUCH younger! - recently divorced, hung up on her age and her looks.

I don't have a pic, but trust me, you won't be disappointed! - disappointment is guaranteed.

 

 

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