looking for a partner in crime - already mapped out in her head everything she wants. You're probably just some random meat whose only function is to dissuade potential rapists.
not into drama - loves to initiate drama.
so bored - just wants to talk to somebody to kill time.
love sucks - having a really hard time in the love department.
great sense of humour - thinks 'The Office' is cutting edge comedy.
very sarcastic - probably getting 'sarcastic' confused with 'annoying'.
I'm not racist, but - a racist (but at least we have something in common).
Yeah I'm [whatever]! If you can't handle that, then contact someone else! - If she has this sort of attitude problem now, before meeting her, can you imagine what she's like on a date?
down to earth - boring.
just come out of a bad relationship - desperate and seeking attention.
pic for pic - everything is a negotiation.
no photo/no reply - is shallow.
not into playing games - doesn't play games in the beginning but she will its just a matter of time.
looking for my soulmate for long-term relationship - wants you to complete her.
all men are cheaters/pigs/liars - attracts cheaters, pigs and liars.
300 pounds now, but working on losing it - not losing it fast enough.
love to laugh - you better have a sense of humor or some way of making her laugh.
put [whatever] in your subject line - she just wants to see if you actually read her message first.
new to the area - was driven from her previous location by irate locals with pitchforks.
[any acronym you don't recognise] - has been scouring the internet for potential mates for WAY too long.
must be sane, no flakes - has a tendency to attract crazy people or she's flaked on alot.
fun-loving - boring.
fun - unimaginative.
kayaking - trying to sound more interesting than they actually are.
open-minded + must be [anything] - idiot.
[any star sign talk] - likes reading horoscopes.
kinda shy at first, but once you get to know me I'm a good friend - slow to warm up.
I'm [age], but always told I look MUCH younger! - recently divorced, hung up on her age and her looks.
I don't have a pic, but trust me, you won't be disappointed! - disappointment is guaranteed.