Have you ever asked yourself "Why am I still single?" Well, you may not have a clue, and today we'll give you some insight into the Top 5 Reasons Why You're Still Single.
As a woman, you feel pressure from family and friends or even from yourself. You're tired of being lonely, or you're tired of people in your life always asking you why you're single. You can't trust your friends or family members to tell you the truth for fear you might be offended.
Here we can tell you the truth because we value the truth and know it's much more valuable than a white lie. Remember, the point of these Top 5 reasons being shared with you is the assumption that you have thick skin and you can handle the truth. Also, keep in mind, these are insights from men. They're going to sound offensive because they're coming from a male perspective. Since it's men you would like to attract, see these as golden nuggets others omit from you.
You may feel like you're a really great person on the inside. This may be true and we won't dispute your interpretation of self but it's not about how you see yourself. What you have to remember is today's modern man is not going to take his time and dig in. Some will but most will not, so what do you do?
The solution to that very question will be provided at the end of each reason given. Today's men are conditioned to idolize women as mere objects of pleasure for fun times. Add to the mix social pressure to select a mate on their perceived value rather than their inherent value.
So are you ready, okay hold on tight it's gonna be a wild ride!
1. Let's start off with the most obvious, you're fat!
You're thinking, "how rude!" I didn't need someone to tell me I was fat! Well if you didn't need someone to tell you 'you're fat'. Well here's a question, did you already know this? And if so, when were you planning on doing something about it?
"I'm not fat, that's my awesomeness swelling inside" You can lie to yourself and use descriptions like BBW and Voluptuous to make yourself seem more appealing but why isn't anybody falling for it except you? The craft of word magic works best for selling products, but with the product, marketing comes product design, and usually, the design is sleek and sexy. You are designed in the image of your maker blah blah blah, but you're fat. Are you working towards a better you or are you being lazy and not taking care of yourself? The question for you is, how much of an effort are you putting into slimming down that double chin and those turkey wing-like arms?
Your body is yours, and how you maintain it shows. So if you are fat, you are showing that you are not health conscious, you lack willpower, you don't care about your body or what goes into it, and you don't like physical activity.
Now who in their right mind would go for such a person like that? Not any decent-looking guys and why should they?
Oh, that's right, because you're good on the inside. That's nice and all but...
You want to become a more responsible body owner and you do that by working on it. You might be a great person on the inside but men are conditioned for the ideal sleek pretty package, that looks good on the outside. Inner qualities are not priorities so you can't get angry with men for being shallow and not accepting you in your current state.
Alright, enough of the harshness. The point here is if you're having trouble attracting men, this could be ONE of the reasons why. Now don't get us wrong men like women who are a little thick within limits but you know if you're pushing that limit.
What is the limit? The limit works like this, men want a woman who they can show off in public and be proud of. If you look like someone he'd rather hide in the closet that means he's not proud to show you off. This could be a reason why you are never taken out, see Easy Target or Hard to Get. You're an outward reflection of him, so become a woman that a man is going to desire. Here are a few Hints For Simple Fat Loss to help you get started.
If you are offended and feel you are fine being who you are. That's fine but might we suggest you shifting your focus to people who accept you are as you are. If the current pool of men who do are not to your liking, and you're tired of waiting, you know what's holding you back.
2. This one's a given, You're Picky as hell!
No one told you to be so picky, where did you get the idea? Sometimes we can really shoot ourselves in the foot by being picky. For instance, if you put in your profile ***Warning...If u aren't at least 6ft or taller, plz don't waste ur time tryna talk to me!! I like them to be taller than me!!*** and you're only 5'2" technically every inch after 5'2" would be taller than you.
You want a man who's at least 6ft tall but the truth is you don't need a man who's 6ft tall. There's a difference between need and want and you're just being too damn picky. Blast yourself in the foot all you like because in reality there's a whole wealth of men between 5'7" and 5'11" you'd be missing out on.
The solution, re-examine your picky attitude. You call it a standard but is it holding you back?
A lot of times we get the wrong ideas and don't even know where we acquired them. Culture and society sold you the fantasy of Prince Charming who just so happens to be tall. You have to separate reality from fiction and come to terms if you're a short woman, it's okay to date someone who's taller than you but under the desired height requirement. What you have to ask yourself is are you willing to be happy or wait for Mr. Dream Guy who's 6ft to show up and bring you that happiness?
Do what you want because you ultimately know what's best for you but if you're always lonely, can never attract a suitable mate. Remember, it's you who chose to be picky rather than be happy. You could find yourself echoing the states of Kim Kardashian when she said "Thought I'd Be Married By Now"
3. You have one too many children
Children are a blessing is what we're usually urged to believe but Mother Declares Her Children Are "the Biggest Regret of Her Life" is one such story that dispels the myth. We can't speak for all single men, but from our survey, we know this ain't the case. Lots of single men will date single mothers but these relationships are often short-lived due to the chaoticness of the children involved.
Think about this for a second, you have children by another man or maybe more than one. Some guys think you're pretty cute and that's all that's required for them to take an interest in you. This is okay, but he does not have an interest in your (created by someone else) children.
Why? Well genetically they're not his so he has no investment in the matter. Most online dating sites, Craigslist especially are heavily riddled with single mothers. This would suggest there are equally as many single fathers, but since the mothers usually have custody of the children we cannot include them in this argument.
No man in his right mind would look forward to such a setup. This is why you might use a headline like "Where are all the real men at" when what you're really saying is "who's dumb enough to go for this mess I got going on over here?" So you're tired of men who just want the one thing but they why would you expect them to stick around?
Sounds cold but this is raw insight. One solution is to find or attract men in a similar situation that have children. A single man may stick around but at some point, he's going to want from you a good reason for continuing to be there. Now, what would that be? You guessed it, a child of his own.
Considering you're a single mom with a child or more, you know not to allow yourself to get caught in that position without negotiating on some sort of contract (marriage) to keep him firmly planted. Otherwise, you run the risk of being burdened with another screaming mouth to feed while he pulls a Mr. Magic disappearing act.
Another solution here is if you do date and he is a single man, take your time with him. Yes, you have needs but haste makes waste. If you make the decision to have a booty call, make it a firm decision that the booty will be just that. A person that will serve for pleasure with no possibility of commitment, otherwise you run the risk of confusion and heartache later.
4. This may not seem obvious but "You're Boring"
"All of my friends tell me I'm funny..." would you really expect your friends to be honest and burst your bubble? The thing about being a woman is, you don't have to be much of anything else. As long as you have all the bells and whistles (nice tits, plump ass, and a pretty face) the average joe would think anything you did was perfect. As long as you possess certain features and can fog a mirror you can attract men all day, but keeping one of them may not be so simple. You're a fine piece of work, not a piece of meat. So what gives, why are YOU still single??
The problem with family and friends is they won't give you constructive feedback. They won't tell you things like:
- The things you like to do are boring
- Your personality could use some work
- You need to open up a little
You might think because you go to the bar, or can get dirty that you're a fun person. This does not make you fun except for those friends you share these activities with.
So what makes a woman exciting rather than boring? This could vary but usually, she's:
- fun to talk to
- a blast to be around
- has interesting things to say
- has an attractive personality
- has a sense of humor
- not afraid to be herself
- doesn't take herself too seriously
- etc etc
There's more but are you starting to get the picture?
Some of you are so rigid and stiff or caught up being the beauty queen that you fail to be real, open-minded, and just allow yourself to have a good time. Maybe you like to stay indoors and do the same things repeatedly. This is fine but every once in a while you have to shake things up and introduce new activities into the mix just to break up the monotony.
So what can you do?
Open yourself up, develop new tastes, learn new stuff and try new things. There's no competition with anyone so you can expand at your own pace. You've always wanted to learn about ____________, well go out there find out more about it. If you stay in the mode of always trying new things at least once, after a while you're going to find yourself with a lot of new interest helping you transform from boring into a more interesting person.
5. Your Profile Stinks!
Online dating presents something hard for most people, Describing themselves. The secondary challenge, just getting someone normal to talk to. It never occurs to people how their profile could hurt or help their chances.
A lot of this has to do with the fact that women are not accustomed to having to explain themselves in detail. Usually friends and family just accept them as they are which cheats them out of ever truly finding out more about themselves. You might think men are shallow but then some of you women are hollow. You've never taken the time to dig into who you are and people around you rarely say anything that would offend or contradict your version of reality. The problem is in believing because belief is all made up. Knowing is better, because in knowing there's no doubt.
Where is all this going? For example, do you believe you like football or do you know that you like football and why? Do you believe yourself to be a good person or do you really know that you are a good person in your heart and why?
Courtesy of a few online dating sites, women leave short little messages such as these:
- if you wanna know more just ask.
- I don't know what to put here so you'll just have to ask.
- Just looking to meet new people.
All of these are lame and show laziness. They don't tap into who you are or your interest. Think of your online dating profile as being a window into who you are. How open that window is, is up to you. Messages like these are practically a closed window.
This is not to say you should cover your whole life's story in an online dating profile. A good rule of thumb is you should provide just enough that can be expanded upon (Opening the window). With a short profile message like these and a few pictures, you invite one-word openers like 'Hi', one-word liners like (Hey, What's Up?) and fishermen, you know the ones that send you penis photos' asking are you down to fuck?
If you want something serious, it's time you get serious and type out something worth reading. Something that shows you have the ability to use words and speak. You don't have to lie, you don't even have to use too many words but three paragraphs creatively written can say just as much as a two-page biography. Experiment and see what works best for you. Someone just may take an interest in what you have to say and be motivated to send you a decent response.
Whew, that wasn't so bad, was it? We know it was a lot to chew on but we hope it is well received and gives you some insights into how your online dating efforts can improve, which they can. With this information, we hope it leads to greener pastures and more happiness.
What do you have to say about this list, was it helpful, is there anything you would like to ad, contribute and leave a comment!